Breath

As I move through the world, every cell in my body tells me to escape. Even in times of joy, my muscles are tense, my shoulders raised, my breathing shallow. 

I am in constant search of moments of relief, anything to make me feel closer to whole. I begin to find this within the natural world, somewhere buzzing with life and growth and change, somewhere that is embedded with a sense of chaos yet still serves as a respite for my mind. I can surrender myself to the land in a way I cannot with anything else. The birds, the trees, the sun and the moon, they watch me without judgment. I am seen as more than broken pieces. I am seen for all that I am and all I will ever be. The natural world is my companion. I lean on its shoulder when I am lost and somewhere along the way I become found. 

Through photography, I bridge the gap between my two selves, the version that embraces the wild and the other that carefully calculates every move. I recognize ways in which the land transforms itself, creating a parallel to the shifting landscape of my own mind. Placing myself within this world, I catch glimpses of peace in the sensation of sun on my skin, giving me goosebumps in its warmth, in the crunch of plant fibers underfoot, deteriorating yet not dying, and in the water brushing up against the shore just to meet for a moment before receding again. This is my everlasting search as I long to be reborn and made anew.

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